Friday, January 14, 2022

The Slows


(In my imagination, you all would talk back to me during this little drama, but would sound like muted trombones like in the Peanuts cartoons.) 

H there!  It's me, your favorite blogger with your favorite blog.  Long time no.... bwwwaaaasbuweeeooo)

Wait, not that one, that's some other blog.  This is Terrible Loss, your OTHER favorite blog.  Anyway I've been off the internet for..(Bwwweeeeeooouuubwwaaauu)

No.  That's some other guy.  I'm Stewart, your third (fourth / fifth) favorite blogger and I'm back to blogging now tha....(bababababababuuuuuu)

LOOK.  I am in your Top Ten favorite blogs OF ALL TIME.  I was off the internets for a little longer than  month due to family and holidays and work and sickness and just didn't have the time.  You missed me deeply.  Which is, frankly a little disturbing, as I'm just some guy on the internet.  Albeit a charming one.  Now stop interrupting so we can DO THIS. 

Other excuses: I was at a work Christmas party for my estranged wife when thieves masquerading as terrorists attacked the building and took everyone hostage.  Almost sounds like a movie.  


So maybe that little skit wasn't that funny, but what is funny is that you miss blogging once you're in the habit of doing it.  (and I mean the verb form of blogging that includes writing your own posts and also reading and commenting on other's posts).   People tend to write some good stuff at the end of the year and I missed it.  I'm going through my blog roll to try and catch up with people as I type this.  So if you missed my stupid mindless blather in your comment section then it should show up soon enough.   

Though you probably didn't notice I was missing.  That's because you get way more comments than I do; because you're a better blogger than I am.  I have such a limited audience that when someone misses my post that I'm in danger of  descending into teenage girlhood... "Bethany did not like my social media post so we are NOT friends anymore and I HATE her and I'm gonna go steal her boyfriend with blowjobs!"  

--my daughter is 8 years old.  please tell me teenage girls are not like that.  I'm not sure I can cope.  I'm gonna stop typing and go do some self esteem building activities with her right now.

--I'm back.  That didn't take long.  Father of the year again I am, and it's only January. 

High Hopes and Low Motivation

The wife is working out of town every weekend in January, leaving me on children duty all by my lonesome.  This will make for some busy days.  Yet I am hopeful that during the nights after the children go to bed; I can quickly put out any lingering fires and wipe up any spills that threaten to become too sticky and then focus on hobbies. I live a very full life.  

I have so many genres I could do, but I thought that I would stick with the previously mentioned plan and try to crank out some Dark Ages miniatures to add to the Saxons and Vikings; to make mass battle games a little more mass.  The idea being that these can see the table *eventually*.   Maybe even at convention this year if they don't all get cancelled by COVID and provided my family life allows me to play.

Right now I got low motivation because I barely do any gaming.  Last year was the third in a row where I was only able to play about 12 games over the year.  Which is way lower than I'd like.
--I know that talking about how often you game can be like talking about how often you have sex and is a matter of perspective. One person says 'we have sex all the time, like once a month' and the other says 'we barely have sex at all, like once a  month!'---

But as someone like me who is strongly a 'paint to play' kinda guy; the lack of play really decreases the motivation to paint.  It's well known all over the internet that I don't truly enjoy painting miniatures for it's own sake.  I mean, I enjoy painting miniatures more than I enjoy doing chores. watching bad TV, and talking to the wife at night when she is tired and cranky.  What I enjoy about painting miniatures is having painted armies to play with and the sense of free time.  

--Curiously, I do enjoy making terrain a lot.  I have 4 books on how to make terrain but none on how to paint miniatures.  But right now I don't have any terrain needs so I'm stuck with miniatures.  Unless someone wants to paint these things for me and I'll make some terrain for them?  Kinda like a swap..
I should do model trains, because all you do in that hobby is make terrain.  Except what the hell do you do with a model train board except point at it and say "there's me trains.  Yeeeaaapp."  

But How Slow is Slow Exactly?

So the plan is add at least 80 miniatures to the Vikings and Saxons.  I'm sure I'll think of other stuff I'll want along the way so lets make it an even 100.  
100 miniatures from bare metal/plastic to table top.  It's a high goal.  And I'm off to a terrible start because I gots a real bad case of the hobby slows.   All along there have been set backs and mishaps, all along, all along there were incidents and accidents, there were hints and allegations.  

2 weeks into January, and all I've done is assemble 10 miniatures.
I do like assembling miniatures too.

So let's do an experiment and see how long it takes me to paint 100 miniatures.  Feel free to place your bets.  


This post was high on bad jokes and low on actual miniature wargaming.  'Art imitates life' as they say.
Thanks for reading.  Double thanks for writing a comment.  

Oh, and I'm aware of the irony of stating "I have low motivation to paint right now, so I think I'll make a goal to paint to hundred miniatures."    I am a silly person.